How to Feel More in "Control" of Your Life | Jaimie Tucker

How to Feel More in “Control” of Your Life

Up Your Game

This article was originally published on Arianna Huffington’s Thrive Global Wellness platform.

I always felt I had complete control over my life. As it turns out, life just doesn’t work that way. I’m now able to embrace the realization that certain things are out of my control. Here are some tips for how to feel more in control of your life.

It’s Uncomfortable to Accept Life Cannot Be Controlled

The realization that certain things are out of one’s control is healthy, though as someone who enjoys the thoughtful process of “digging deep” to engineer one’s life, it can create dissonance. Writing out objectives in great detail, creating mood boards, and relentlessly putting plans into action were all part of how I channeled my goals and dreams into reality. While these activities are positive, life cannot be controlled.

Tips on How to Feel More in Control of One’s Life

Particularly in uncertain times, anxiety can rear up and take hold of my emotions, interfering with my ability to be present in the moment. As a mother, it saddens me when I lose precious moments with my children fretting over situations in which I am powerless to influence. Here are some useful tips to reduce the sense of losing control over one’s life, and instead foster feelings of accomplishment, well-being, and order.

Make a list

Making a list can relieve stress because tasks and to-dos are written down, reducing fear that something might be overlooked. When a clear-cut list is in front of you, it is easier to get a broad picture of what needs to be done, and prioritize from there. There is also the added bonus of physically checking items off a list, which creates a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.

Prioritize health

Taking good care of oneself optimizes well-being both physically and mentally. The positive effects of good nutrition, adequate rest, and physical activity are well documented, and enhance performance and resilience. Taking care of oneself generates positive emotions of self-worth, and feelings of accomplishment arise from sticking to an appropriate exercise and dietary routine.

Manage your beliefs

Reframing a situation in terms of what can be controlled, and also of significance, what cannot be controlled, alters one’s perspective. Looking at the positive side of a situation reduces negative feelings and emotions and puts one on a path to productivity. Innovation often occurs when we are faced with challenges.

Clear clutter to reduce stimulus

Reducing clutter in one’s work space or home relives stress and minimizes distracting stimuli. Being surrounded by only useful or loved items can bring peace of mind and focus. Try it – cleaning out even a small section of a closet or a drawer can provide a sense of tranquility and accomplishment.

Train your brain

When we are feeling overwhelmed and are pressed for time, allocating minutes for meditation can get overlooked. This is precisely the time when we need it most. Meditating helps to regain a sense of mental control and lower stress levels, allowing us to relax, focus, and be more in the moment. Being present allows for greater clarity of mind, and allows us to enjoy the precious moments in our lives. Learn to “let go”.

Hopefully this tips will help you to feel more in control of your life. How do you manage uncertainty in your life? Are you able to “let go?’

If you enjoyed this post, you might like 5 Tips for Sleep From a Tired Mom

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xo, Jaimie
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22 thoughts on “How to Feel More in “Control” of Your Life

    1. I know what you mean. It’s especially tough when the world feels out of control, like it does now! Best to you! xo

  1. These are great tips! It’s so important to know who you are and take control of your life. Xx.

    1. Thank you so much! Yes, knowing what one’s priorities are can help create a sense of control.

  2. So many great tips in this post! I personally love making lists because there is nothing better than crossing things off of it!

    1. Haha, you and me both Hillary. Crossing things off a to-do list is definitely an incredible feeling!

  3. Love these tips! Since we started social distancing and working from home, I have felt like everything is just a big ole mess and writing out my to-do lists, keeping a clean space, and taking breaks have made me feel so much better!


    1. It’s hard isn’t it? In our house, things are everywhere, particularly because I have two kids. It’s so easy to veer off track. Lists help me get back on the path and keep priorities straight of what needs to be done today, and what is less urgent. Cheers! xo

  4. I think I’ve decluttered the same spaces about a dozen time since this whole pandemic started! lol Great tips! xoxo, Sarah

    1. That’s awesome Sarah, I can just see you in action if you’re anything like me. I’ll just stand in front of a cupboard or in a space looking for things to remove. It can be very therapeutic! lol xo

  5. I think I’m just at the point of accepting that my life is not my own anyways. God is in control, and when things feel really scary, I’m glad I can trust in His power. I know that’s not everyone’s experience, but it’s really important to me to have that kind of faith right now – because I like being in control, and … well, that’s definitely not happening currently – haha!

    1. Hi Stephanie, thanks for your thoughtful message. Agree with what you are saying. There is comfort in knowing we can relax and just trust, which is not always easy. Stay well friend!

    1. Making lists is so good for feeling like one is in control. It’s been amazing how many people are saying the same thing. Whatever helps, right? Be well!

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